Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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