Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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