i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
