Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
