They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
i think i just lost a toe
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
