Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
