I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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