butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
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