Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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