I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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