He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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