I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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