If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
