I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
