their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Randomize