His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
