Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
