he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
