Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
