she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
