hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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