Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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