i think my tv is drunk
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
