Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
