; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
