it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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