im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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