At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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