Are we in a gay sports bar?
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
She's just so happy...and so naked.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
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