bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
