O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize