you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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