dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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