why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
