It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
