i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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