i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Randomize
