i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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