i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
