You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
