ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
