My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
