my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
