I will die if light touches me.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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