What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
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