Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
