# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
