did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
