she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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