It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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