She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
