Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize