I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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