I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
