You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
