Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
