Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
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