Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Randomize
