I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
