just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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