Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
