i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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