so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
