i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
