How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
