Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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