hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
You are the jesus of drinking
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
