I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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