The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
My breasts were aching with rage.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
