Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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